Sunday, October 09, 2011

When You're Gone

Lotus in a lake of Paya Indah Wetland.
Today is the 5th month anniversary of my Mom's demised. The wound is pretty much still raw. I can still feel the pain. I miss my Mom so badly. Especially now when I have so much to tell her about my life. It feels so empty and so lonely not having her around. Five months ago, 2 weeks before her unexpected parting from us, I received an unexpected call from her. Instead of voicing her own pain, she was expressing her concern about the state of affair. She gave me her last advice. And all the words were implanted in my mind. She would have been really happy if she knew that I have been a better person because of her. She worried about me a lot. I had to assure her every time, that I am doing well staying away from home. So sad... I can only pray for her now. And still I felt that it's not enough.  

How sad... it's been exactly five months now. If you really love a person, can you really forget her/him in an instant? I just wonder because I really don't know. One thing I really know is that when I love a person, my love is so unconditional. I love with my whole heart and soul. And if that person is gone, I will mourn that person as much as a loved one deserved to be mourned. I will treasure the memories of that loved one as much as good memories should be treasured. And most of all, I would pray for my loved one forever as long as I live.

How can you forget? No. I don't think I can forget. 

How can you replace? No. I don't think anyone could replace my beloved Mom.

And yesterday, mark the day my father remarried. It was a mixed emotion. I just don't know what to call it. And I still cry for my Mom :(




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