Friday, November 11, 2011

11.11.11 Friday

Yup. Couldn't have enough of myself. These photos are the happy moments captured from 2006 till present in many phases of my life. All of these represent very important dates, important places I visited, important events I attended and finally, I cut my hair real short for the first time in 28 years. That's important too. My latest look was the one with black shirt, short hair. I hope I look cute. LOL!

They say, a picture worth a thousand words. Very true. I love taking photos of my self because in later years, I could look back and remember those important happenings. Time flies with every blink of an eye. It was 2006. Blink blink, 2008. Blink blink blink, now it's already 2011! Everything changed in 5 years. I am a changed person definitely. Getting wiser by the count of wrinkles. Nothing to be ashamed of. I planned to be like Oprah. Looking even better at the age of 57. Wow! She's an amazing soul. When you have a great heart, it shows in your face.

11.11.11 - important Friday. Beautiful number (:

11 x 11 = 121
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

See the numbers arrangement? Ascending and descending. Up and down. 11 is an amazing number.

Simply, this is a posting to mark the 111111. We'll see what will happen next.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Deepavali Nal Valthukal

Siddharth Narayan in 180 movie (2011)
Priya Anand in 180 movie (2011)
 Today is Deepavali Day for the Hindus all over the world celebrating the triumph of good over evil. There's a lot of symbolism in celebrating Deepavali Day but only the Hindus will be able to correctly share it with you all, not yours truly. 

Lights brighten the darkness, bring up happiness and twinkle into children's eyes. Simple and it's a reason enough to call for a celebration. YEAY!

Every year I had the honour to share this joyous celebration with my Hindu Friends. They will invite me to their house for lunch. I love Indian food especially the Mutton Kurma/Curry with Tomato/Briyani Rice. I just love it! YUMMY! 
Being Malaysian, we are proud with our Open House concept. Whenever there is a Deepavali, a Chinese New Year or a Hari Raya, we will share it with everyone in regardless. A supposedly a day celebration turns out to be a month long celebration for all. Everyone is literally invited. You just go to the houses and enjoy the meal and get to know new people. They say, be open a bit. Go to Open Houses. LET'S GO!

I love Tamil Movies nowadays more than I love Hindi Movies. Although both are from India, I prefer the Tamil stream. In the 90s, the Malays were crazy about Hindi Movies and myself included. I reached the peak of my craziness over Hindi Movies during Shah Rukh Khan's era. It started with 'Dil To Pagal He' then 'Kuch Kuch Hota Hei'. Then I followed every single movie acted by Shah Rukh Khan until the early years of 2000. After sometime, it became very boring to me, so I hardly follow the industry. 

Vijay and Asin in Sivakasi (2005)
Most Malays love Hindi Movies because of the beautiful and handsome actors in it. They are like a perfection and the ultimate beauty a human being can be. Nevertheless in comparison, Tamil Movies, had a better plot, much to be appreciated for compared to the Hindi's. Unfortunately they were being pushed aside because they lacked the glamour and the good looks that people fantasised. These are the obvious reasons why Tamil movies were not watched as much as Hindi movies in the 90s. Films are our main detraction and escapism from the real life, plump looking actresses dancing with not so gorgeous looking heroes are definitely not a good idea to attract international audience. But still, one exception to the rules was Rajinikhan. I LOVE HIM THEN AND NOW!

The first Tamil Movie that really got me hooked was Padayappa (1999 movie). What a touching story and a great plot. I saluted Rajni Khan and he became my favourite new hero. I was blown away with his acting in Chandramurkhi (2005). Everyone should watch this superb movie. You will not get disappointed. I watched Jeans (1998) although a bit late to find it out but not disappointing. Surprisingly because Aishwarya Rai was in it. LOL!
Rajni Khan in Padayappa (1999)

Hindi Movies are becoming boring obviously with endless typical love stories. They ran out of ideas. However, Tamil Movies have becoming better each day with rare story line. The plot will have rich cultural learning and socio-political issues weaved so gently into the film. I just love it. It's like watching a documentary of Indian cultural and historical background. You could learn so much from just watching one movie. I LOIKE IT!

Tamil Movies have come to a new phase. Hindi Movie Industry (Bollywood) is now being replaced by Tamil Movie Industry (Kollywood). The once not so attractive actors/actresses have now been replaced by the hot looking, drop dead gorgeous heros/heroins. You can see it  yourselves. Beginners with Tamil Movies might get a surprise that they will not be able to differentiate whether it's a Hindi or a Tamil movie. They even had great songs that the global audience can appreciate. And watch closely, you might recognised places in the movies because Malaysia is their favourite shooting country too. KOLLYWOOD is GLOBAL!

I had great fun as always during Deepavali Holiday. Here, I would like to wish all of you Hindus out there who stumbled upon this posting; A very Happy Diwali, Deepavali Nal Valthukal. May the spirit of light illuminates our heart and life with happiness and love forever and ever. MWAH! MWAH!

Sunday, October 09, 2011

When You're Gone

Lotus in a lake of Paya Indah Wetland.
Today is the 5th month anniversary of my Mom's demised. The wound is pretty much still raw. I can still feel the pain. I miss my Mom so badly. Especially now when I have so much to tell her about my life. It feels so empty and so lonely not having her around. Five months ago, 2 weeks before her unexpected parting from us, I received an unexpected call from her. Instead of voicing her own pain, she was expressing her concern about the state of affair. She gave me her last advice. And all the words were implanted in my mind. She would have been really happy if she knew that I have been a better person because of her. She worried about me a lot. I had to assure her every time, that I am doing well staying away from home. So sad... I can only pray for her now. And still I felt that it's not enough.  

How sad... it's been exactly five months now. If you really love a person, can you really forget her/him in an instant? I just wonder because I really don't know. One thing I really know is that when I love a person, my love is so unconditional. I love with my whole heart and soul. And if that person is gone, I will mourn that person as much as a loved one deserved to be mourned. I will treasure the memories of that loved one as much as good memories should be treasured. And most of all, I would pray for my loved one forever as long as I live.

How can you forget? No. I don't think I can forget. 

How can you replace? No. I don't think anyone could replace my beloved Mom.

And yesterday, mark the day my father remarried. It was a mixed emotion. I just don't know what to call it. And I still cry for my Mom :(

Thursday, October 06, 2011

I Feel Wonderful

When writing this first sentence, I was thinking real hard what to write. Hahaha!

Grilled chicken burger, a treat.
Okay, I found out that blogger has given us more choices in showcasing our blogs. I am trying this new dynamic view with the new designer's template. I think it's awesome. It makes my blog look more organised and professional. Like flipping through an e-magazine. You can view it in any ways that pleases you. Check it out, folks.
Thank you, Blogger :)

Coming back from work today, I left my purse in the office. Realisation came too late because I already reached the clinic. Lucky me, it's a friend's clinic, so I wouldn't have to pay almost all the time. I got my MC so off I go home to take some rest. Not feeling well of course.
Thank you, doctor :)

Then I realised that I was hungry too. How was I suppose to buy food with no money? My mind started to think ways to get food without paying. I can simply call any of my friends but I dismissed the idea. How? How? Finally, I figured, not that I will die of hunger. I still have some rations at home. I cooked myself an instant noodle. That's my lunch. I fell asleep immediately afterwards on the sofa while watching Astro TV on 'Keeping up with the Kardashian'. Then the love song of a 'tekukur tanah' woke me up. The bird is back singing at my hanging garden, courting on females. I smiled happily.
Thank you, birdy :)
Borrowed someone's car.

Then, I went online checking my facebook. Good news pouring in. I met many of my old campus mates adding each other up via our own facebook group. It makes me happy finding them and getting their updates on life and whereabouts. We promised to organise a reunion soon. It's nice.
Thank you Facebook :)

I just got a new job. Something that I always wanted to do. This time, it's education. Yeah, I know. I did it again! Changing jobs like changing my party dress. Hehehe... I needed a change of cloth and I got it from a different shop. Not the usual one. You got what I mean. And this time....
Thank you, Jobstreet :)

While writing this, I was feeling full after eating a delicious grilled chicken burger by a friend's treat. I was saved from hunger and craving of real food. Here I am typing away my happiness using my favourite laptop on my comfy bed. I was feeling blessed and happy over the turn out of events. God sure has mercy on me. It couldn't be more beautiful than now. I owe it to many people who were always by my side in all my ups and downs. Most of all, one stood out from the rest, and that's, my best buddy.
Thank you, partner :)

And last but not least, thank you, God. Alhamdullillah for a wonderful life.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011


Loving my country, Malaysia. Picture taken during
my friend's Register of Marriage in Putrajaya.

This posting is in due respect of our 54th MERDEKA DAY celebrated on 31st August previously. I posted it a bit too late, I know but better late than never (:

I still wanted to say something about it. I am very patriotic, you know (:

This year it was a double joy because it coincided with Eid for the Muslims in Malaysia. My posting here is what little contribution from me towards unity and solidarity of our nation. I wanted all to know that no matter which class of society you belong to, in the end, we all must love the land that has given us what we call life. A place you can call home.

Who am I?
I am many pots of flavour, combined (:

Love being an Indian once in awhile! 

Celebrates CNY every year and
my looks can be deceiving. Hahaha!
Loves fashion and loves Baju Kurung
I remember my roots
I am proud to call myself simply, a MALAYSIAN (:

Wishing everyone EID MUBARAK, i.e. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri & Maaf Zahir dan Batin kepada semua. 
Mwah! Mwah!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Dracaena cinnabari

dracaena cinnabari, originally uploaded by jan_vandorpe.
Just a quick one to share with all of you in my blog. I have stumbled into this magnificent photo of nature I've ever seen in my life. This tree is in the family of dracaena. However, I've never seen any dracaena that is as big and as old as this one!

Truly amazing! Again, the wonder of God's creation can be seen here. Because of this picture I found via googling the dracaena for my landscaping project, I inquired more about its native. It's from a place I never knew existed called Socotra. Read it for yourself.   This place will be in my list of places to be visited before I die (:

Note: Photo by Jan Vandorpe. From his flickr page.

Sunday, July 03, 2011

The Bird Connection

Nicely snuggled within my plants

Tekukur Tanah nesting on my hanging pot
I have been noticing a trend in my life that birds love me (the real bird, mind me). Any where I go, I will have a story to tell about bird. Now like a psycho, I am but not really. It's an observation of our surroundings that made me more aware of other living things around us. When I was in Botanical Garden in Putrajaya working for about a year. I have this habit of greeting birds every morning. I love them because bird tells you time. When a person should be going out working and when a person should be going back home. Just be still and hear the sounds of bird chirping. For this, I am grateful of their existence. My morning wouldn't be cheerful without greeting them a good morning. The cheerful sound of birds chirping signifying the starting of a day.  

In the botanical garden of Putrajaya, where I used to work, I had a pet bird (in the dove family) which I called Lucky Dog (because I found it during Dog Year of CNY 2006). It was still very small and bald. We found it under a tree but can't locate its nest. So I took it back to the office. Without intending to, I and nurse it till it grew all its feathers and becoming tamed. I could play with it, walking down the garden while my Lucky Dog quietly sat on my shoulder. I feel like having a hawk instead of a pigeon. It just sat there following me around with no objection. May be it thought me as its mother. Me and my Lucky Dog, the world seemed so beautiful until the tragedy. My friend took it home and it died in the hands of a naughty cat of his. I cried. THE END.  

Not long after the demised of my Lucky Dog, I found another weird bird. It's very small, very black and has a  tiny very red eyes. I can't figure out what type it was. Not a familiar bird to me. It was found hopping the pavement nearby my office and when I went near, it didn't go away. I touched it. It just let me. I put it on my shoulder in remembrance of my Lucky Dog and it sat on my shoulder with no effort. A bit naughty this one though, sometimes it climbed up to the top of my head and back to the shoulder again. I played with it for awhile, then I thought, what a weird little bird. I got a bit scared. How come this little bird could be this tame when I just found it not an hour ago. So I pushed it away, shooing it to fly but it didn't want to go away. It just stared at me. Determinedly I put it on my arm, like a hawk sitting on the arm. I took it far within the garden, near a bridge, I put it down and again shooed it away. It didn't move. Just stood there looking at me with its head a bit tilted like he recognised me or something. At that time, I got frightened. I ran off to my office and never look back. Superstitious belief. THE END

In Mulu, less than a week residing there, as I was working at the jungle resort, sparrow made its nest on floor mop which I leaned on a wall at the balcony. Of all the balconies near that area, it chooses mine and on top of my mop some more. However, I can not allow it to reside there, I need to use the mop very often. It just started the nest so I figured, the bird will have to relocate :) Sorry. THE END.  

Now I have moved to a new place. A five-storey apartment. My unit is at the highest with one small balcony in front the living hall. I had many pots of roses and hanging pots of orchids and other plants filling up the whole space. I just moved less than 3 months ago but every single morning, my balcony already attracting birds. One particular type, a 'tekukur tanah'  loves to hang out at my hanging pots. At first, only one tekukur, then came another. It seemed that my balcony has become a courting place for them. One night, I watered the pots and to my disbelieve, a bird flew out of one pot. I looked into the pot and saw two tiny eggs inside. I felt miserable about pouring water onto it. The eggs might not hatched. However, the mother came back to sit on it and always there every single day. The male will come too at times. I hope all is okay. Still I think the eggs can not hatched. And I was right, after a week, the mother left the eggs abundant. Probably it knew the eggs have no more lives. I have killed it. Huwaaaa!!!! THE END.

The tekukur is my best friend in regardless, it came to the balcony every morning and rest on the pots in the afternoon. Usually I will know the time by listening to their sounds. They made beautiful sounds, these tekukur tanah. Almost like its family, the 'merbuk' (spotted dove).  Every morning from 8-10am, it will come chirping or just sat there on my pots. When I came near, it just let me. I talked to them sometimes.
One of my proud roses at the balcony
which reminds me of my mom.
I called this soft pink coloured rose, Mom's Rose.

Birds are not like men, you can talk to them any time you like. They just listen and do not talk back. Hahaha! THE END. 

Thursday, June 23, 2011


One is lonely. Not cool. 
This world is full of lies. People lied almost every day of their lives. Lied to their spouse, lied to their children, lied to their friends and what more to say, so easy to lie to strangers. 

Example; a husband lied to a wife; coming back late always because he said working overtime. The truth was he went out dating another woman. That's a lie that hurt when the truth revealed to the wife. It might break a marriage and cause harm to the children's quality of life. 

Another example; a child lied to his/her parents about going to tuition classes. In fact he/she was at the cinema with friends while skipping tuition classes. This is the kind of lie that is only damaging to self progression. Because the child will not have a good result in his/her exam and causes a great loss to his/her parents financially for paying the tuition fees for nothing. In a long run, it's affecting the child's own future and the parents trust towards him/her.

One completes the other.
I hate liars most of all because lies hurt people more than a dagger hurt the flesh. The scar can not be seen of course, but it was there, always. Lying only show that you are a selfish person who does not think of others. So never ever lied to your loved ones. Telling the truth hurts but for only awhile. The longer it was kept, the deeper is the wound and the bigger is the scar. Better tell your story now than leave it until it got infested with pus. Get what I mean. 

Some people tried to justify their lie as a white lie. They say, we lied for the betterment of all parties concern. What so white about lying? Nothing good came out from lying as far as I live this life. I have encountered many. For example, in a relationship, not telling facts are considered not lying. Would you agree with that? People say, I did not lie, I just keep mum, did not tell anything or only telling part of the story. That's all. Well... in my dictionary, not telling in order to make people think otherwise is as good as lying. As simple as that. Liars like to twist the facts to make it look okay and to justify the negative doings of their selfish acts.  

With the other half, one moves better.
The easiest example in this scenario is a Muslim husband that has another family with another woman. Simply said, he got married to another woman without telling the first wife about it. Finally the wife got to know and it hurts the marriage. So tell me, was this considered a lie or not? To the first wife, it was a lie every single day of her husband's marriage to the other woman. The truth that came out later hurt deeper than any wounds to the first wife and may be has effect to the children (if any) as well. Would you agree with me? 

Well... I leave it to you all to think wisely. I will not give any more examples because it's unnecessary. Everyone should be able to understand fully the consequences of their own action, in this case about lying. Let's move on, shall we. 

In my blog, my intention is always to share good stuff that is beneficial to all human kind that has the literacy of reading a blog posting. I only want to spread love and good sharing of information to all. Hope I still have followers out there. It's been such a long time that I had written any good posting. Always so self-engrossed with my own life's miseries. And the climax was the demised of my beloved mother. 

One half can lean on to the other half. 
My favourite colour is sky blue and white. As the beautiful blue sky and the white clouds. It sooth my heart and soul looking up all the time. I just love it. I love my roses too. It's the greatest creation by God. So beautiful and serene. The best flowers on earth.

I feel deeply about everything in this world. About life, about other people's life, about my life definitely. May be I could be a good writer one day. Great feelings should be shared and lessons learned should be taught. I believe that everyone has different life's lessons and each one is incomparable with the other. So sharing it would be the best so that others will learn something from it. I want to write a book someday. With a pseudo name, so nobody will ever know. That will be my retirement plan :) 

I was never lucky in relationship so far, but from it, I learned a lot. One of the most important in any relationship is trust and never ever break that trust. Once broken, considered gone forever. Another thing is lots of love and show that love to your significant other. Loving without proof of that feeling is as good as being stupid and a loser for a fact. Knowing that the other person loves you is not enough in any relationship. You had to feel the love in order to be able to feel loved and love more. You get what I mean? 
One do fun stuffs together.

Do simple stuffs like hugging with affections, listening more with empathy, remembering important dates, practising saying thank you whenever the other person do stuff for you, a peck on the cheek before going to work or before going to sleep and etc. Lots of simple and inexpensive stuffs you can do to show your feelings to your other half. 

Most men think that women should be content with what they have as long as their men gave them the roof for shelter, money for her needs and other material stuffs for her amusements. Well.... the theory is very wrong. Why do you think all the stories about Mak Datin/Puan Sri or Rich People's wife go for a gigolo or have extramarital relationship behind their husbands back? Materially speaking, they all had enough, right. Apart from may be the husband is too old for them or they marry because of money, than it's obviously because they are looking for TLC (tender, love and care) outside of home. The husband failed to give that to them for being too busy getting the TLC from other women as well. In this case, you can call it equal deceit. 

True love should never been tarnished with LUST. Lust is not Love. True love means being faithful, honourable and trustworthy to the other. Other commendable characters in story of true love are being accountable and protective. Like in many fairytale of a knight and a damsel in distress. Like that lah (:

Wow, look who's giving advice about love. I think I should stop now or I can never stop talking and talking. 

Have a nice read. Chiow! 

One is made for the other and two is actually one. Cool :)

Thursday, June 09, 2011

30 days and I still miss you so much

Mak during Mother's Day 2008
The Summit Hotel Subang Jaya
 Today is the 30th day of my mom passing away. I can't help being a bit down. I miss her so very much. It's hard to accept her departure that's so sudden. I am not ready yet to lose her. The thoughts of God knows what's best for us and it's our duty to accept and let go, I console myself that way. Knowing that's she's in a better place. May Allah rest her soul in peace, in Jannatul Firdhaus. She deserves it. I will pray for her till this life ends. 

My Mak with sister, Lyn during Father's Day 2008
The Summit Hotel Subang Jaya 
The first thing when I wake up in the morning, and the last thoughts in my mind before sleep was for my Mom. She's a truly the Queen of my heart. The most genuine of hearts I have ever known. I don't want to cry because I know in my religion, it's not good to cry for the departed. That was God's will. Our time has been set in this world. I understand that, but someone please tell me, how not to cry? How not to cry for someone that is so close to you your whole life. 
During Eid 2008

When I was afraid of the dark, my Mom was there to accompany me. When I was sick, my Mom took care of me. When I feel nobody cares, my Mom showed me, she cared more than anyone else in this world. When I was losing hope, my Mom gave me courage and motivation to carry on. She never really scolded me her whole life. Instead I raised my voice many times towards her. She forgave me every time. There was never shortage of love and devotion towards her children. When I was short of money, my Mom gave me money. When I made bad choices in life, she still forgave me and encouraged me to move on. She never let me down. Where can I find another person like this? How not to cry for her? How not to miss her? Tell me. 

True love. Mak and Abah during my brother's wedding in 2005
 When I was small about to start schooling, I had problems at school. I was a weird shy little person. My Mom sat with me in the classroom until I was in my Standard 2 (8-year old). Two years my family had tried to get me into school but I was too stubborn and shy to attend one. I will not go unless my Mom go with me. But finally, she made me understand the importance of education and I excelled tremendously afterwards. She patiently encouraged me to be brave and and not to be afraid of anything. I got my first education from my Mom. She thought me everything about life. Her whole life was dedicated towards her children. And I will never ever going to forget that. 

I adore her so much. I want my generation to know what a wonderful person my mother was. She had great character that should be amulet by anyone who is to become a Mom someday. Besides being a Supermom, she was also an entrepreneur. She had her own food business. She started a frozen food business all by her own effort and it was a great success. Many of my friends had tried her products and liked it a lot. It was sold at a wonderfully reasonable price. I am happy that now my eldest sister Along is continuing my mom's legacy in frozen food. 

My Mom's frozen food business was running successfully until she started to lose her energy and fell really ill in 2009. However, the wealth that she gained from her business, never much spent on herself, instead, she was a philanthropist who spent a lot on poor people in the village she stayed in. Sometimes, we would borrow money from her and of course she would never ask it back.  She always advised us in business we should never overpriced our customer. We should always be afraid of God, so never ever overpriced nor cheat our customers. She said in every profit, there should always be part of it that should go to the poor. She reminded us always to pay Zakat in order to prosper in life. This advice, I will never forget and shall preach to all my generations to come. 
Mak was a funny person. Nobody jokes like my Mom.
We enjoyed all her jokes because it was spontaneous and genuine. 

I miss her laughter whenever we told her silly jokes or when she made a spontaneous joke that made us all laughing like crazy. She likes to sing when she does her work. She can make a child sleep with her soothing voice. I miss that too. I miss laying on bed with her every time I came home for a visit. It was always her bedroom and beside her I lay to tell her stories and she told me hers. Sometimes, all of us siblings fought to have the best spot on bed  beside our mother to catch up with news. 

I miss all her nagging about getting married to the right guy that will look after me. I thought I will have the chance to snap wedding photos with my father on the rightside and my mother on the leftside. I thought she would be around to witness it. I thought I still have the time. I thought.... HOW WOULD I KNOW!

Now, it's just a thought. I feel so much alone. Never in my whole life I would imagine this time would come. I am so alone. So so lonely without my mother. I love her so much. I will miss her until I myself leave this world. May Allah have mercy and bless her soul. She deserve Jannatul Firdhaus for all the good and sacrifices she made. Amin... 

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Goodbye Queen of My Heart

My mom looked so happy in this candid photo
I wonder how people say goodbye to their most beloved person in life. How do people mend a broken heart when losing the most significant soul that brought life onto them. 

My heart ached every morning when I wake up and still I feel the unexplained pain when going to bed at night. The pain was from the innermost of depth, a place you only reserve for the most special person, one and only, there will never be another. And now that place is forever empty, irreplaceable. Finally I know what it means to lose a person forever in one's life. 

My mom was married to my father when she was only 18 years old. They were married out of true love that had survived throughout the test of time. I have seen how strong and passionate their love had been. Nothing can separate these two, from Peninsular Malaysia to Borneo to Indonesia and back, they were still intact. Come what may; fortune and poverty, happiness and sadness, health and sickness, ups and down of life and whatever storm, they faced it together with devotion and stronger bondage. 

A very dedicated grandma. All grandchildren loved her.
My father had his heart bypass surgery 6 years ago. My mom took care of him night and day. And when my mom fell sick, my father was devoted to her night and day nursing her to be better. It was pain itself to watch how my father struggled with his feelings. All of us family was struggling with our own pain and it was the hardest to watch our father's. 

My view of love and life, always based on what I had seen and learned from my mother. She's my teacher, my comfort and my saviour. In our family of 9 siblings, not many had the chance to be breast fed fully. I was one of the lucky 3. Only 3 of us was breastfed fully. Not an ounce of dairy milk came into my body when I was a toddler. I had great bond towards my mother because of this. All of us in fact. We are a very close knitted family. Love is always the big theme. It's all about love. The Queen of our heart. My Beloved Mak.   

The last Eid we spent together in 2010.
Not a complete family photo.
She had excellent talents in cooking, sewing, craft and gardening. She was like a superwoman that can do almost anything she put her heart into. I inherited most of these talents but one, i.e. cooking. I can never be as good as her. I thanked her for giving me such special gifts. God knows, I was grateful to her because out of these talents, I earned my living now. 

I only have one parent now. I want to take great care of him. I want to spend as much as my time with him. He's my only comfort and joy at this moment. People say, memories are best created together with your loved ones. I understand it better now. Time is very precious. If only I could turn back the time, I would be the happiest. But such is the way of this life, we are living here merely to head towards our death. What matters are what we did while we are still living. Things that can be remembered for generations to come after us. It really makes me think deeply, person such as my mother will be remembered in our generations many years ahead of time for a wonderful, generous, loveable person she was.

She passed away exactly a day after Mother's Day Celebration. I came home on that day to celebrate with her. I brought KFC her favourite fried chicken and a bowl of chicken porridge, but she couldn't even touch the food. We were sleepless till morning arise and she gave her last breath in the arms of all her children at approximately 11am, 9th May 2011.

May my mother's soul be rest in peace in Jannatul Firdhaus. I pray for her everyday and continue to pray everyday till death do me part. Al-Fatihah. Amin.

Saturday, March 05, 2011


How do I fix it? Urghh!!!!
It's another emotional day for me when my car broke down in the middle of the DUKE (Duta-Ulu Klang Expressway) highway. I just started my day with lots of plan in mind but hadn't got to do it at all because of the incident. 

It's not just the car temperature that went up. My temperature went sky high too! At first I got so panic, I called the nearest person to me because that's how women usually did when they were in distress. To let their loved ones know about it because it made them feel better by just telling them the problem. Not hoping them to solve it!!! Instead of a shoulder to cry on, all I get was a scold for being negligence and ignorance. However, I was lucky to have a good friend with me, so he accompanied me throughout the predicament. Thank God for that.  I love you my friend (:

Since the day was Friday, things moved so slowly. People didn't feel like working on Friday. They lagged and they took their own sweet time. I was there since 11.00am but they only began to touch my car at 2.00pm. I had no choice but to fix my car there because it was stuck, can not be moved anymore.

Believe me, it was a long wait. A painful, most unbearable wait, ever in my life. I got the car back at 10.00pm. It's just an 11 hours wait. When all the shops around has been closed for the weekend and when my temper and patience have been reduced to nil. After much heart wrenching conversations on the phone with many people and knowing none of them could come to my rescue, after tears of frustrations and of a heart break because non of them people I called could give me relieve; finally I got my car. 

It was finally FIXED! But I got more things to FIX. 

Friday, March 04, 2011


I believe in miracles. Miracles happen because God wills it to happen. Just like that. MAGIC! When I am in deep trouble, I said to myself, something good will happen. IMPOSSIBLE is 'I-m-possible'.  And it is true most of the times, miracles do happened.

Nothing comes easy in this life. Everyday is a struggle. Anybody who didn't struggle in any parts of their life means they do not know what real life is all about. Going to school for an instance, to some kids, it's a struggle. Why did some kids cry on their first day in classroom? It was because they were struggling with the new environment, new friends and new chapter in life. I did too during my time. 

In the office, why was it a struggle? It could be the sales target is a struggle to achieve or a boss is a struggle to please and etc. Different people face different struggles or challenges in their everyday lives. 

I have been thinking for many days what more can I write here in this blog. It was a struggle. I could not be writing too much about myself now because I was reminded about revealing too much on the net might do me no good. People are manipulating other people's stuff for no particular reasons nowadays. It bothers me a lot. But that's a different story. 

I came back late from work today. Almost 12 midnight. I saw a commotion outside the entrance of my condo. It seemed that a lady has jumped down from the 12th floor and the forensic police were doing their investigation.  So I had to enter the condo from a different door. As I was on my floor, I looked down the corridor's balcony and I could see clearly the woman sprawled on beds of spider lilies (a type of plant). So elegantly sprawled. I give her credit for landing herself so elegantly, face-up with one hand over her head. A beautiful but painful death. 

I took a shower as I usually did before sleep. Then it makes me think. What struggles in life she had been through? Why she decided to end her life? Then I realised, some people just can't handle problems so they choose the easiest way out, i.e. commit suicide

It makes me think further. Why am I still alive?

My mind went silent for awhile :(

.... and finally I got it. I am still alive, because I still believe in God. Life is something very special. It's a gift. We have no rights to take life away because it is not even a choice. Only God knows when my time will end. My story is yet to be written. I got more chapters to go. So here I am writing, still. 

.... and most importantly, I believe in MIRACLES. Whatever that is. And I believe in myself. Yea... feels better now (:

Thursday, March 03, 2011

LANGKAWI - Jewel of Kedah

Another beach visited by the duo. We were in Pantai Chenang, Langkawi :)
Kuala Perlis Jetty to Langkawi has recorded a phenomenal amount of visitors this year during CNY holiday. About 20, 000 people swarmed the jetty to go to Langkawi and it was estimated about 50, 000 visitors in the island during the holiday (NST News on 2nd Feb'11). My group of 10 outdoor enthusiasts were among the statistics. No kidding.

On the day of our arrival, 3rd February 2011, the jetty was haywire with groups of people from all walks of life trying to get tickets. There were lots of tourists from Asian countries compared to the western tourist probably due to the end of holiday seasons in the west. We spotted groups from China, Myanmar and Bangladesh. The locals, no need to mention; LOTS.

Mr. Cute aka Comel, Dean and myself in the cable car
that can fit up to 6 persons per ride
It’s not easy to buy ferry tickets. The queue was long and the waiting was like forever. From 7am, we waited more than 3 hours to be boarded. We got onboard at 10.30am and arrived in Langkawi at 11.15am. Lucky we have arranged our transportation earlier with a friend who operated a tour company in the island itself. It’s pretty usual to hire a car or a motorbike once you were in Langkawi. Since the tour operator is our friend, we get a discounted rate for the van rental at about RM80 a day and it was 10 of us travelling together. Normal rate for a van is RM120-RM200 a day depending on type of van. Toyota Estima or Alphat will cost you more, of course.

At the Kraf Centre of Langkawi. Lots of handicrafts and batik
designers' cloths. We modeled the 'mengkuang' hat.
According to our boat handler, a local, he said, Langkawi is a name derived from a Malay word of ‘lang’ (short of ‘helang’ which means ‘eagle’) and ‘kawi’ is the name of the limestones that can be seen around most of the unihibited islands, sea edges and crevices and natural canals surrounding the island at the Unesco Geopark of Kilim. However, when I googled it, 'kawi' could also mean 'reddish brown', may be referring to the eagle's colour or the red limestone in Langkawi. Other articles related it to the ancient city of Langkasuka. This Jewel of Kedah, is actually almost as big as Singapore. The main island itself is 478.5 in size compared to Singapore, 646 However, Langkawi were made of 99 islands. True to its name, you can find lots Brahminy Kite Haliastur indus (the brownish coloured eagle) and the 'kawi' rocks around the island. There's an 18 meter high giant eagle in a place called Eagle Square where you can take photos to remember Langkawi forever (:

Pantai Tasik Tengkorak where we camped for our first night
Thus our journey in the Island of Legend begun. Almost every parts of Langkawi have its own legend especially one significant lady named Mahsuri. She was believed to be wrongly accused of infidelity and was brutally murdered, 200 years ago. Before she died, she cursed Langkawi and its people for her wrong persecution. She bled white blood which gave fear to all her executors and villagers. For 7 generations Langkawi is believed to be shadowed by Mahsuri’s curse. The island has been left undeveloped until the curse end in 1987 and the same year Langkawi was declared duty-free zone.

Miraculously, Langkawi has flourished in terms of social and economy after being declared duty-free zone and with Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohammad, the 4th Prime Minister of Malaysia playing a huge part in it, of course. He initiated prestigious events to mark Langkawi in the world’s map, i.e Lima (Langkawi International Maritime & Aviation Exhibition) and Le Tour De Langkawi. The status of Langkawi as a duty free zone continues until present day. Most Malaysian went to Langkawi for branded household products, chocolates, perfumes and many more to name a few. Try Daim and Whitakker's Chocolate. There are the best!

Coolloop and Cumi at Telaga Tujuh, one of the waterfall there.

Mount Mat Chincang Cable Car – RM15 per person for cable car ride up the mountain. Lookout tower and hanging bridge overlooking seashores and lagoon. You can spend the whole day there.
Pasir Tengkorak Beach - it has a camp site ground and a toilet as your water source. The beach has some rocky edges and million years of rock formation if you care to look and search.
Kilim Geopark - you can take a boat ride to Bat Cave, Fish Farm and even visited nearby islands like Pulau Dayang Bunting (pregnant maiden island). Bat’s Cave, Fish Farm and Falcon Sighting/Feeding near Kilim- RM200 per boat of 2 hours ride.
My friend Dean in the sky. 
Lubuk Semilang, Gunung Raya – camping, rock climbing and picnic site with 4000+ steps towards Gunung Raya peak.
Para Sailing in Pantai Chenang – RM40-50 per person for a 3km via boat tailing.
Sunset Cruise – RM100 per person for 4 hours cruise and dinner with free flow drinks onboard
 Shopping in Pekan Kuah – Hj. Mohamad Ismail sells the cheapest chocolate. Recommended chocolates: Daim, Cadbury Turkish Delight and Witakkers Roasted Almond.

If you had bigger budget, you may want to do Island Hoping, 4 hours boat ride to some of the significant island which formed Langkawi. It’ll cost you about RM400 per boat for a four hours ride.

Island hoping sharing basis is only RM25 per person but had to be booked early in the morning for the last boat leaves at 2.30pm.

If you were at the Chenang Beach, a handful water sports can be had such as parasailing, jet skiing, banana boat ride or just lazing in the sun. Langkawi has one of the most beautiful sandy beaches you will ever see in the world for its very fine almost white sands and clear blue sea. It’s much much cleaner and better than the Kuta Beach in Bali. Trust me (:

All of us minus Zam on top of the Sky Bridge

Amazingly this was only my second time to Langkawi since 2002 right after the tsunami hit the island badly. At that time things were pretty much bad and it affected the people so much that very few tourists can be seen. We rented a car at that time and had been travelling peacefully around the island. Boat ride and other stuffs were pretty much cheaper. This time around, North part of Malaysia including Perlis and Langkawi is experiencing draught. We can see river water receding and public toilets without water. However, we were lucky to just camped nearby Lubuk Semilang with lots of water supply even though lesser than its usual flow.

There you go folks. My backpacking style to Langkawi, the Jewel of Kedah. We couldn't get a bus ticket back to KL on the day we were supposed to go back. We had to cramped up in a budget hotel till the next morning. Phew... what a vacation.
Bat Cave in Kilim Unesco Geopark

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Hablul Minanas

This 5-year old Darshini Selvam. One of the unfortunate
children from House of Trinity
Every year I made a point to always do something for the society in gratitude of my humble existence as a human being. In my belief, every person is created with a given purpose and functionality. Everyday we live, it's an 'ibadah' (obedience or worship of God). We wouldn't be on Earth just for nothing. 

Sometimes due to prolonged hardship and failure in life, people choose to blame God or lose faith in God. I am no angel my self and I admit to have had feelings like that too, sometimes. But when I really analysed the situation, I realised that it has hidden lessons or messages that are unavoidable. We become better with every experience. 

Even if we don't believe in God, personally I take this life very simple. DO GOOD, THE GOOD COMES and DO BAD, THE BAD COMES. In Buddhism and Hinduism it is called KARMA. But as a Muslim, I do not believe in Karma as what the Buddhists or the Hindus believe. Instead, I believe in fate and destiny. Our lives are predestined or fated before we were even born. We can not run away from what is fated by God. 

So I believe we do not live just for ourselves. We must live for the others too. That is called hablul minanas (human to human relationship) and our faith in God is hablul minaAllah (human and God relationship). A person's life is not just about worshipping God but also to be aware of his/her surrounding. That will make our lives complete. 

A simple example is when we helped a blind person to cross one busy street. How that makes you feel? You feel good inside, isn't it. Feel good means being happy with ourselves. It's medicine for our soul. Anything to do with another human being, like feeding the poor, be good to your neighbours, helping the orphans, take good care of our parents and many more; all these are ibadah under the hablul minanas. Uppss.... too religious, you think so? Well, some lessons in school stay with you forever. Should give credit to my teachers for this (:

Try to make sense of what I am writing here, can you? Actually my beat around the bush thingy here was about the event I went on last Saturday. Every year as Marketing and PR person, I did CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) for the companies I worked with. Every festive seasons and every extra budget means my chance of doing good to others, usually orphans and old folks. Last year I quit my position in the corporate world, so I thought I would not get the chance to meet up with my usual crowd. This is foolish thinking, I know. I shouldn't be riding on my employer's budget to do charity work, isn't it. Now I feel bad. Huhu...

Well, to make it short, I got an opportunity that was unplanned for. I swear I got nothing to do with it. I went through another experience in life that confirmed my believe in God's fate. My path crossed again this time with orphans that I made CSR programmes with previously. Not one orphanage, but two! It was an amazing feeling. I had great time with the kids and towards the end of the event, it made everyone feel good, i.e. the kids, the volunteers, the organiser and myself!

The kid in the photo, Darshini, she's 5 years old. She's the latest member of House of Trinity, an orphanage in Petaling Jaya district. She has a mother but the mother was irresponsible enough to leave her in the care of a hapless grandmother. The grandmother later turned her into the orphanage just a little more than a month ago. According to the caretaker, this little girl never tasted chicken or drink Milo in her whole 5 years of existence. I was speechless. She's so cute and adorable. She looked happy to be with the rest of her new family now. I know that she's in the good hands. That's all that matters. 

This is only one of the story you hear about unfortunate people. There are lots of sad stories out there. As a human being, we can not be selfish with our lives. Share it as much as you can with others in regardless of their faith or colours. Trust me, you will feel happier and better living this way. 

Take care for now. Have to go to sleep. Goodnite (:

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Live it Fabulous

I watched a fabulous show today, "LIVE TO DANCE" the American version of "GOT TO DANCE". God I love GOT TO DANCE the UK dance show with its three fabulous judge namely Kimberly Wyatt (from Pussycat Dolls), Ashley Banjo (Winner of Britain's Got Talent Show with his group Diversity) and Adam Garcia (Australian actor and tap dancer). Now the American version, LIVE TO DANCE, Paula Abdul made it more fabulous with her charming and loving character. Kimberly was in it too, may be to retain the world audience of this show with Travis Payne (choreographer known for working with Michael Jackson on his "This is It" concert before his demise). 

These two shows, GOT TO DANCE and LIVE TO DANCE are great shows that inspire, motivating and touching to the audience. It was great to see dreams fulfilled and great talents discovered. It makes us believe on dreams can become reality. It shows us that every great talents have great stories behind it. Sometimes the moments were so intense, it made you cry. Huhuhu.... well I did. May be because I am such a cry baby. Who cares. 

Another fabulous thing to watch is the E Channel Fashion Police for the Golden Globe 2011 Award. Love fashion tremendously and those celebs really give you great inspiration in fashion and for myself to get more ideas of my next fashion competition (if there will be any). Haha... 

My personal best dress award goes to Olivia Wilde (the 'HOUSE' star). She looks gorgeous with the Cinderella gown. 

Halle Berry is the best for giving great elegant pose for cameras. She worked the gown to the admiration of all to see. Not an easy thing to do. I think, even rags will look good on her. Perfect body and perfect pose. 

 Another actress who knows how to work the gown and how to give great pose to photographers. Megan Fox looks stunning and confident as always. 

Beautiful Catherine Zeta Jones has this timeless classic look about her. Reminding me forever of her Zoro movie. The gown complements her character natural beauty. 

Note: All photos taken from


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