Saturday, March 21, 2009

DATING ABUSE. STOP IT!



This is a video made by dosomething.org. A non-profit organisation that is running a campaign to educate teenagers in America against 'Dating Abuse', following to the incident between Rihanna and Chris Brown'. I supported this campaign and I think Malaysia should have this kind of campaign too.

These are facts you should know about DATING ABUSE taken from New Beginnings a Women's Crisis Centre based in Belknap County, US:

What is Dating Abuse / Violence?
Dating violence is physical, sexual, emotional, and/or verbal abuse between persons who are now, or have been in the past, in a casual or serious dating relationship.

What to do if your friend is being abused...
  1. BE THERE - Listen to your friend.
  2. ACKNOWLEDGE THE ABUSE - Let your friend know that you are concerned.
  3. ASSESS THE DANGER. Ask your friend if s/he feels safe?
  4. REMIND - Your friend of her/his strengths
  5. IDENTIFY - Options and resources.
  6. EMPHASIZE - That the abuse is not your friend's fault.
  7. KEEP YOURSELF SAFE!

What not to do if your friend is being abused!
  1. Don't ignore your friend or say you'll only be a friend if s/he leaves the abusiverelationship.
  2. Don't put down the abuser. Your friend may still care about their partner.
  3. Don't talk to your friend about the abuse in front of her/his partner; it may not be safe for your friend to talk about it.
  4. Don't tell your friend what to do.
  5. Don't blame your friend!

In a healthy relationship, each person is entitled to:
  1. Have their needs be as important as their partner's needs.
  2. Be able to voice their feelings, thoughts and opinions.
  3. Be free from emotional, sexual, verbal, and physical abuse at all times.
  4. Spend time with their friends and family and not feel pressured by their partner's jealousy.
  5. Live without fear and confusion from their partner's anger.
  6. Be treated with respect and never called names.
  7. Negotiate conflict and make decisions about the relationship together.
  8. Enjoy each others' dreams.

If you are or have been abused, YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
  1. The abuse is not your fault.
  2. Perpetrators are always responsible for their actions. Approximately 30% of teenagers will experience violence in their dating relationships.
  3. Relationship violence occurs among every race, ethnic group, sexual orientation and socio-economic level. The US Bureau of Statistics reports that 95% of assaults in relationships are committed by males.
  4. If it feels scary, it is abuse.
  5. Get some help and support for yourself!

Does your boyfriend or girlfriend...
  1. Tell you what to wear?
  2. Isolate you from friends and/or family?
  3. Say who you can or cannot talk to?
  4. Threaten you with force, words or weapons?
  5. Get Extremely Jealous over just about anything?
  6. Call you Names, Swear, or Yell at you?
  7. Make you perform sexual acts that you do not enjoy?
  8. Make you feel there is no way out of the relationship?
More for you reading pleasure here.

Be it MENTAL abuse, VERBAL abuse, PHYSICAL abuse or SEXUAL abuse. You must GET OUT! That's the message and I would like to share it with all of you precious soul out there. THE ABUSER and THE ABUSED. Please STOP IT and GET THE HELL OUT of it!

My personal statement:
"I hate men who lay hands on women in regardless of what their reasons are".

No one should get away with abusing. They should live their life in guilt and cast out from the society for their own stupid sins. We should not give them what so ever pity, second chance or believe in their act of repentance, on what so ever reasons. You are responsible for your own action. Dare to do it, dare to pay for it. Period.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Life precious pieces of mosaics


Life is like a mosaic. Preciously made up of fragile pieces. You don't want to break them.


No one should live alone, we need a friend to share life like the colours of rainbow that always made you smile.


Life is so beautiful. You only wish you could freeze it forever like in your happy photos.


After all ups and downs, family is best. They are truly yours forever.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

If you'r a loser, you'r a winner!


Sam Rouen, 20-year old winner of The Biggest Loser series: 154.8kg to 82.9kg


Michelle Aguilar, 27-year-old, winner of The Biggest Loser series: 110kg to 50kg

Last weekend was a very long one for me because I took a day off on Monday just to rest myself after a very long weekend previously. It was like sleeping, eating, and reading, sleeping, eating and reading all over again like a cycle.

I went out only once, to check on my parents on Sunday and came back home to continue sleeping, eating and reading. My Goodness, I can’t believe that I can sleep so long. It felt unhealthy not moving my body enough. It makes me feel FAT!

That’s the subject of this posting. Our weight obsession. In three days that I was resting at home, like a bear going into hibernation, every now and then, I will wake up from my long slumber and stood in front of the mirror. I looked at myself all over to check if I had gained any extra pounds. Lately I’ve been engaging myself too much into reading weight related materials and additional to that, I watched ‘The Biggest Loser’ series in Hallmark Channel which I found very interesting.

I locked myself in my room, watching tv like an addict but for me it’s a good thing. I believe in tv education. Switching on to other channels, surprisingly more on obesity. Discovery Channel showed ‘Extreme Bodies’. It’s about how far a human body can take to the extreme. One subject was an ex-sumo wrestler who put on weight simply because the nature of sumo sport that requires you to be heavy. However, after retirement, the ex-sumo wrestler is risking his own health with obesity. Oprah Show at 8 o’clock showed the same issue but tackling it differently via the right way of healthy living.

By Sunday, I had finished reading a fiction entitled ‘All of Me’, about an African American woman who had tried to commit suicide due to her failure in life and her struggle to lose weight to fit into the weight conscious society which affected her career in broadcasting.

I think in within three days of hibernation, I had covered all things obesity. Educational and inspirational tv series and a touching story from a book. My Goodness, the knowledge amazes me and at the same time it bothers my peace of mind.

Every human being wants to be beautiful. Being girls or boys, women or men, once in awhile we wanted to be appreciated or admired for our physical beauty. It feels great when someone came to you and says how nice you look in your new dress or new shirt, isn’t it. Have you ever complimented anyone who’s obese for looking nice? No, right. I am talking about being fat aka obese. Chubby, plump, curvy or rounded sometimes do not fall into obese category. They are just as pretty and cute on some people :)

We say beauty should be from within and it will show through the outside. We say a lot of comforting things about being beautiful is about being true to yourself. It’s not your physical that counts but your heart and bla bla bla…. Doesn’t matter what your size is. Bulshit! Being human, the truth is, beauty is seen from the eyes of the beholder and most of the time, your eyes have a standard shape and size of what to be called beauty or pleasant to see. We are talking about normal human being, not those who think they are into a different category of above average kind or abnormal human being. Hehehe…

So back to being obese. It is very sad. No one wants to be fat. You will lose self esteem and you are jeopardizing your own health. Obesity means, diabetes, heart diseases, respiratory complications and so on. Pushing your body to the extreme will make your body system go haywire. It’s like a machine that has been overheated and burned out. It means you are cutting your own chances of good and happy life.

Obesity happens in my family as well. It’s not easy to tackle the issue when you love that person to pieces. You can tell them to slim down but it is not easy to slim down without a life style change. I know this well enough. You can’t say much to an obese person unless you will hurt their gentle feelings and no point of being cruel towards another just because they don’t fit into your ideal shape or size.

All I have to say here is that, exercise regularly and eat modestly are two main ingredients of living a happy and healthy life.

Like I always said, YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT!

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Tell me... Why do you love me?

They say, friendship is like wine. It appreciates throughout time. Likewise, friendship too appreciate throughout time. The longer it is the better it feels and the more valuable it becomes.

I was blessed with great friendships of diverse nature. True friendship is of course hard to find, once you found it, it is PRICELESS.

A true friend won't be judgmental of you. They will stand by your side through thick and thin. They have no reasons to be your friend. It's like when people ask you, "Why do you love me?". If the answer is because of your beautiful eyes, your long hair, your smooth skin and etc of thousands other reasons, then he/she does not love you for real. You don't need a reason to love. Love with reasons won't last. Once the reasons ran out, the love is gone. Huhuhu....

I am talking friendship here. Friendship involves love too. A different kind of love. It takes time to build up true friendship. My philosophy is that, friendship has to be earned by merit. It has to be tested. Friendship and acquaintanceship are totally two different type of relationship. Acquaintanceship is someone you know or befriended for certain reason. A simple know you or know me kind of thingy. A relationship that has no deep meaning. I had many of those too . So does everyone else, I presume :)

In friendship, there are certain levels. You might want to categorise it as 'best friend', 'good friend' or just a mere 'friend'. These people complement your life in many ways. There are friends that are good for activities, there are friends that are good for confession, there are friends that are good for being helpful. Only you can tell which one is which. In regardless of which category they fall, all of them are equally important in one's life.

My Goodness, I could go on and on about this subject in many ways. I am writing this piece because I feel so grateful having all my friends who supported me throughout my journey in this life of evanescent. I feel gifted to have people who I could share my joy and my sorrow. It brings meaning to my existance. Nobody in this world should live alone. Every human being needs another human being to communicate or you will be called a pyschopath.

I had great time chilling out with my ex-colleagues lately. The photo above is of Jazs, Awang and myself. They were my colleagues during my employment in Taman Botani Putrajaya and Taman Wetland Putrajaya. What a magical meeting we had. What a life changing experience for us. I am glad for these two great personality for their company lately. A friendship can help you build up a better life. We learn from each other and hopefully we don't abuse this good relationship for many more years to come.

I have many other important friends in my life which I did not mention here. I cherish and value each one of them truly. Everyone is special in their own way.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Dance Your Age Away

I love dancing. It's the liberation of you mind and spirit with the movement of your body following streams of sound. I just love to dance. It doesn't matter what moves you can make. Just move your body. Follow the rhythm.

During my visit to the Old Folk's Home in Kajang last February, I was touched with the spirit of these golden aged people. How they seem to enjoy dancing so much. They can sing and dance to the music truthfully. Entertaining us with their performances. I was truly humble and touched. My heart was bursting with emotions :)

I wonder, what my old age would be. Would I find a partner that will grow old together? Would he dance with me forever? Would he understand the importance of sharing and caring through tick and thin?

I just wonder, would I have children that will take good care of me or would I end up being dumped in an old folk's home like these people. Living my golden years with strangers. Waiting day in and day out for visitors to cheer me up during a charity visit. Ooo... so painful to event think about.

My parents brought me up in a very conservative manner. I grew up under a strict supervision of my mother. She would insist us girls to take care of our skin, our appearance and our conduct in front of other people. She said, being girls, we must always look pretty so that we will get a good husband. We were taught good manners as a Malay girl should be. Never to shout to people, always bow low when walking in front of older folks, kiss the elderly hands to show respect and always treat our neighbours kindly. These are the Malay culture I grew up with.

My parents are in their 60s now. They are still together and alhamdullillah, still healthy. I am thankful to my parents for giving me all the necessary education needed in life. I have a good career and a good life now. Being an independent metropolitan girl, I am no longer living with them due to my career. Whenever, I visited them, I see how time flies. They are no longer strong like before. Their skin have more wrinkles and pigmentation. My heart aches. It's making me sad. How many more years will I have with them? Huhuhu... I reminded myself never to abandon my parents like what I see in the old folk's home. I don't want to be ungrateful daughter or 'Anak Derhaka'. Whatever goes around, comes around. Your deeds in the past will come back to you. That's what we call Karma.

Back to the old folk's at the Old Folk's Home in Kajang. I love to see them dancing. They put big smile to my face. Seeing them happy makes me happy. I realised that no matter how dire the circumstances are, we still have hope. Never to lose hope if that's the only thing that keeps us alive. The littlest thing is the thing that matters. I want to dance like that, when I grow old. My partner shall never say no when it comes to dancing with me :)

Have a nice day folk!

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My mind says:

  • "I CHOOSE TO LOVE EVERYTHING THAT IS MINE"
  • If it's not you, who else!
  • Love your country. Keep it SAFE & GREEN...