Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Love Like Daffodil

Daffodil - National flower of Wales, United Kingdom

I am a person who appreciates beauty in all its form and splendour. Nature supplies a bountiful of beauty if we only look. In my beautiful garden I captured beauty often enough through my photography. A beautiful bloom will never miss my attention. Research has shown that flowers could stimulate positive reaction to a person. That is why most of us will smile when we received a bouquet of flowers from the loved ones and most of my posting use flowers to set up the positive mood as well as to associate my thoughts and concerns.

Coincidentally, the topic that I wanted to share with all of you this time around is also associated with one type of flower, i.e. Daffodil. It is the national flower of Wales, United Kingdom. Most countries have their own national flower like Malaysia is Hibiscus; Rosa sinensis, Singapore is Orchid; Vanda Miss Joaquim while Indonesia has three national flowers, i.e. (1) Jasmine; Jasminum sambac, (2) Moon Orchid; Phalaenopsis amabilis and (3) Rafflesia; Rafflesia arnoldi.

Now back to Daffodil, the botanical genus name for Daffodil is Narcissus. The name narcissus is derived from the ancient Greek mythology Narcissus or Narkissos, a handsome Greek youth who’s incapable of loving anyone else but himself. He rejected the love of the nymph Echo until she died of a broken heart. Narcissus saw his own reflection in a pool of water and fell in love with his own beauty. His obsession of himself angered the gods and so he was doomed with his impossible love of self. Later Narcissus was pined away and changed into the flower that bears his name, the Narcissus flower or Daffodil. The drooping head of the Daffodil flower represents Narcissus staring at himself in the water.

I am not going to talk about Daffodils really. I am more interested with the word narcissus that is associated with the Greek mythology. The term narcissism was first used in relation to human psychology by Sigmund Freud in describing behavioural or character disorder. The followings are facts about narcissism that I think quite interesting to know. This is from website. I have learned a lot from this website and more interestingly, you could further read it all in a book written by Sam Vaknin who tells his real life experience of narcissism. The book is entitled Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited. I would like to read this book soon. Here is how you could identify a narcissist.

According to Sam Vaknin, if you had five of the following criteria in you, then you are most likely having a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD):
  • Feels grandiose and self-important (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents to the point of lying, demands to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

  • Is obsessed with fantasies of unlimited success, fame, fearsome power or omnipotence, unequalled brilliance (the cerebral narcissist), bodily beauty or sexual performance (the somatic narcissist), or ideal, everlasting, all-conquering love or passion

  • Firmly convinced that he or she is unique and, being special, can only be understood by, should only be treated by, or associate with, other special or unique, or high-status people (or institutions)

  • Requires excessive admiration, adulation, attention and affirmation - or, failing that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (narcissistic supply)

  • Feels entitled. Expects unreasonable or special and favorable priority treatment. Demands automatic and full compliance with his or her expectations

  • Is "interpersonally exploitative", i.e., uses others to achieve his or her own ends.

  • Devoid of empathy. Is unable or unwilling to identify with or acknowledge the feelings and needs of others

  • Constantly envious of others or believes that they feel the same about him or her.

  • Arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes coupled with rage when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted

Do I have a Daffodil love? Am I so obsessed with myself, omnipotent and omniscience in character? Someone has asked me to look into myself because I am so full of myself. According to one person, I ignited uncomfortable feelings to others around me. I made people feel that nothing is good enough as I put high standards to everything that sometimes it pressured them to please me. He said I am so full of myself. Hmm… wow!

Based on the above stated criteria, I don’t think I am fit to any one of them but anyway, there is still room for improvement. I wonder if the person who says that to me understands the real meaning of narcissist as it is really a serious personality disorder. However, I am not mad with anybody for telling me that to my face. It’s okay because a person who is not willing to consider others’ opinion will not progress in life because everything is just the same. Till then, I would like to thank every one of you out there who have been helping me in my confusion. Just to let you all know that all of your views are truly appreciated. I hope I could be a better person and a better friend in return to your kindness.


  1. Liz.

    Are u in hiatus now? I am back into blogging world after disappearing for almost 10 months. Thanks fr sharing with us the 'Love & Friendship' poem in yr previous entry. Looks like u are really enjoying yr job now!

  2. Hi SK,

    Yeah, I am sorry to keep it too long in between postings. I a busy woman. Yes I love the garden very much. Can't say the same with the job though :)

    Well, I've been very busy actually. Sometimes it's hard to catch up in the blogging world but one thing for sure, I will never stop writing. It is my passion. To be able to share with people things that are really matter to me is a satisfaction.

  3. Narcissist - Sounds like every politician I've ever encountered.

  4. Yeah, you're absolutely right :)

  5. Hello, Liza! I really enjoy your blog!

    Hmm...I think I may fit three of those criteria. Does that make me a 60% narcissist?

  6. Hi moody minstrel,

    How are you? I really appreciate that you all came here to read this humble blog. Thank you. I have read yours too. Your life in Japan seems very interesting. I have not really much time to read all, I admit. Very busy lately and stressed with the work. But life goes on. Can't really complain about it :)

    Regarding the narcissistic person, actually everyone has one or two of the criteria but that does not mean that you are having a NPD. We all are human being prone to make mistake. No body has a perfect character. That would be impossible. And life would be so boring if you are so perfect in everything, right :)



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